Sunday, February 14, 2016

I am Not a Goob

The last D&D Podcast had this random comment from one of the art directors that one of the Ampersand artists was in a relationship with a "D&D Goob".

It was clearly meant to be playful and endearing.

I heard it very differently.

Now, if it had come from Shelly or Greg, I likely would not have even noticed--but the Art Director had previously said several things that made it clear she was not "one of us" and so her comment struck me with the force of a 9th grade hallway slam--if you know what I mean.

Some Art Kid calling anyone a Goob immediately triggers me and I really wish it did not. I get defensive. It makes me mad--I want to strike back and shame them, and taunt them, and explain to them that they do not know what it was like growing up playing D&D...The way in which playful and endearing can switch to mean and exclusionary.

And I have no idea where I am getting this "one of us" feeling--sounds like some Fake Geek Girl conspiracy or Anti-Cosplay idiot response...Right Fun...I mean The Art Director's likely had a lot more crap in their life then I have had in mine & for me to get all prickly over this is just lame...

But it is not going away...

And I *know* I am being hyper over sensitive to this at some level. And I wish I could let this go--but I am literally thinking about it a lot & hoping a blog post may help is likely the worst form of desperation, but but but...

I am tired of being called names.

I have been tired of it since 1982. I am not a nerd, geek, goob, or anything else. When the Deadpool movie comes out I do not need a lot of articles explaining what it means to be nerdy... Articles on how to have a Geek Valentine's Day are not helping...

I am tired of it & I am struggling to come up with a creative response...